Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer Would Say

Originally posted here: http://www.mail-archive.com/coffeehouse@glengamoi.com/msg10279.html

  • 12. Specifications are for the weak and timid!
  • 11. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am

to do battle with this code! - 10. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the

original Klingon. - 9. Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull! - 8. What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'.

Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality

assurance people in its wake. - 7. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -- they have 'arguments'

-- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM. - 6. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak. - 5. I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth

contest. They will not concern us again. - 4. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code! - 3. By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to

die! - 2. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you

stand! - 1. Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it,

and let them flee like the dogs they are!